Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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