I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
