He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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