this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come share oat with me in your robe
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize