Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
