i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This house was built for laser tag.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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