Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
