sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
