All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she peed on how many people?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
