i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
