i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Girls should come with a carfax report
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
