it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
