just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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