the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
