I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
