Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
