No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
