Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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