exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
