I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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