Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize