I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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