sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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