so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
