New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We have started to decorate penises.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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