Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
