if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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