dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
