Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
