Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
