i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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