if you like me you must not know who I am
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize