I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
