Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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