$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize