She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
