Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
