I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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