I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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