When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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