Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize