it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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