So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
