I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
