You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
