You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
