Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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