NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
