every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
