...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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