goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
