i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
