I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
