I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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