8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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