shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
