all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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