i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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