No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
