okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
