i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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