I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
