at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
