Are we in a gay sports bar?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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