Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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