Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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